Keep cool when he loses his temper and show that you’re working to achieve the same goals
The workplace can be a veritable minefield – with tyrants and advantage – taking bosses out to undermine your success. If you find yourself in that situation, you will need to deflect the potential damage and protect yourself behind a “ bully barrier”.
The first weapon you will need is the ability to ignore desperate behaviours. Granted, this may sound like a cop-out, but “if you ignore by choice, it’s not cowardice; it’s being assertive,” says Hilda Meltzer, a New York career coach and assertiveness training specialist.
Besides, when tyrants rant and rave and you respond by cowering or losing your cool, this plays right into their hands, assuring them that they are powerful and in control.
“When these bosses know they can get to you, they will,” says Robert Bramson, author of Coping With Difficult Bosses.
“But the flip side is also true. When they know they can’t get to you, they won’t bother,” he adds.
Calm In The Storm
Try defusing the anger by asking questions. Keep in mind that if a tyrant has lost control, it usually means he is feeling insecure.
You can help him chill, focus and get back to the business at hand by asking questions: “What’s the problem here?” "What needs to be done right now?" “How can I help?”
This subtly reassures the tyrant that he is the boss. It also reminds him that you are on his side, and that you are both working toward mutual goals.
Separate the message from the medium. Suppose the tyrant has humiliated you in front of your colleagues or said some nasty thing to you in private. His behaviour may be inexcusable, but is his message justified?
In other words, behind the tantrums or sarcasm, does he have good reason to complain about you or your work? Be honest with yourself.
Stand Up To Abuse
There will be situations where you can’t bite your tongue – and you should not have to. But how to respond to a tyrant’s vicious personal attacks?
Calmly tell your boss: “I am a professional. I will not tolerate you talking to me like this. I expect you to treat me like a professional – with courtesy and without putting me down or yelling.”
Says Jeffrey Caponigro, author of The Crisis Counselor: “When you do this, bullies often back down because they recognize that you won’t be a victim who will let them get away with their antics.”
Document everything. Save vicious memos, print nasty e-mails, and write down every insult your bully boss hurls your way – just in case you need to share all these with human resources should a tyrant try to oust you from your job.
If this strategy does not work, realize that you are probably not going to change him. You can, however, change how you react to him by simply detaching yourself – and even feeling a little sorry for him. And that can make an impossible boss more tolerable.
- Source: ST/ANN
Source: Star Metro Classifieds, Metro Central, August 27, 2009
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Power to Your People
Power to Your People
By: Alan Fairweather
If you are manager, I am sure you think you are pretty good at your job. Some managers seem to think that they should know everything about the jobs that their team members do, and be better than them at doing it.
I can remember, in the past, working for managers like that. They gave the impression that they knew everything and were far better than I would ever be at doing my job. This, of course, did not motivate me at all.
The motivational manager accepts that members of his staff may be better at doing the job than he is. His staff may be better salesmen, better at customer service, better administrators or better engineers.
I have had salesmen working for me who were better at selling than I was. However, that did not make me less of a good manager.
Sir Alex Ferguson, the manager of probably the world's most successful football club, Manchester United, had a pretty undistinguished career as a fooballer. He did at one time play for the Glasgow Rangers but could hardly be described as a star footbaler. He is now, of couse, a star manager.
If you manage or supervise other people, have confidence in yourself. Accept your limitations and do not feel bad if you do not initially know the answer to every question.
Ironically, your staff will not be more motivated if you come up with the answers to all of their problems or queries. Encourage your staff to come to you with solutions, not problems.
If you spend your time solving their problems, you will spend all your time solving problems!
When someone in your team asks you what he should do, even if you know the answer, reflect back the question. Ask him what he would do. Ask him for his opinions. For example, what does he think is the best course of action, and why he thinks it is the best? What are the consequences of this action, for the customer, the business and the team member himself?
When he gives you his answers, empower, support and congratulate him on them. If he feels that he has made the decision, he will have more confidence in himself and be more motivated to do his job even better.
What you are essentially doing here is utilising the knowledge, skill, experience and motivational power that is already within your team members. Once you leverage on this, you will have a highly motivated team who respect and trust you as their manager.
Source: Article by Alan Fairweather, an associate consultant with d'Oz International, Star Metro Classifieds, The Star, August 22, 2009
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By: Alan Fairweather
If you are manager, I am sure you think you are pretty good at your job. Some managers seem to think that they should know everything about the jobs that their team members do, and be better than them at doing it.
I can remember, in the past, working for managers like that. They gave the impression that they knew everything and were far better than I would ever be at doing my job. This, of course, did not motivate me at all.
The motivational manager accepts that members of his staff may be better at doing the job than he is. His staff may be better salesmen, better at customer service, better administrators or better engineers.
I have had salesmen working for me who were better at selling than I was. However, that did not make me less of a good manager.
Sir Alex Ferguson, the manager of probably the world's most successful football club, Manchester United, had a pretty undistinguished career as a fooballer. He did at one time play for the Glasgow Rangers but could hardly be described as a star footbaler. He is now, of couse, a star manager.
If you manage or supervise other people, have confidence in yourself. Accept your limitations and do not feel bad if you do not initially know the answer to every question.
Ironically, your staff will not be more motivated if you come up with the answers to all of their problems or queries. Encourage your staff to come to you with solutions, not problems.
If you spend your time solving their problems, you will spend all your time solving problems!
When someone in your team asks you what he should do, even if you know the answer, reflect back the question. Ask him what he would do. Ask him for his opinions. For example, what does he think is the best course of action, and why he thinks it is the best? What are the consequences of this action, for the customer, the business and the team member himself?
When he gives you his answers, empower, support and congratulate him on them. If he feels that he has made the decision, he will have more confidence in himself and be more motivated to do his job even better.
What you are essentially doing here is utilising the knowledge, skill, experience and motivational power that is already within your team members. Once you leverage on this, you will have a highly motivated team who respect and trust you as their manager.
Source: Article by Alan Fairweather, an associate consultant with d'Oz International, Star Metro Classifieds, The Star, August 22, 2009
Sponsor Link:
Proven Ways to Make Money on the Internet
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